The Great Answering Machine Assault

Dan Spisak once made the deadly mistake of telling everyone who left an answer on his machine just how to change his greeting.

This was an opportunity that Paul and I just could not afford to miss…


The First Message

(The MP3 file is 33k in length)

The first message was inspired by Dan’s obsession with the really campy movie, Flash Gordon.

Dan: Hi, you’ve reached Dan’s room. I’m not in right now at the moment.
Rob: Leave your message after the “A-Ah!”
Freddie Mercury: Flash… A-Ah!

The Second Message

(The MP3 file is 52k in length)

After we lulled Dan into a false sense of security by waiting a few months, we struck again. This time, the theme was The Omega Virus, a board game put out by Milton Bradley. Dan had become obsessed with one phrase that the electronic voice of the virus spits out every few minutes: “You human scum!”

Klaxon fires off three short bursts, followed by garbled computer noises
Computer: Enter secret code.
Dan: Zero… nine… seven.
Virus: Wrong! Security breach! Security breach! At…
Dan: …Dan’s room…
Virus: …you human scum!