Bertha Does IRC

Or, How many porn titles can you invent?

Lots42 There was one movie called, I think, 'Bertha Puts On Her Garters'
wabewalkr Name a slightly suggestive title and it's probably been made into a porn.
TMR Buggering Miss Daisy
Darren Pantspotting
Lots42 No, 'Bertha' was from 1917
wabewalkr Heh. Sounds like a Brunching game: "Can you find the fake porn titles?"
Darren The sequel was "Bertha Puts On Her Shoes"
Darren then "Bertha Puts On Her Wig"
Darren eventually, in 1973, they produced "Bertha Shits On The Floor"
TMR The prequel was "Bertha Shaves Her Pits"
Darren "Bertha Plucks Her Eyebrows"
Darren "Bertha Picks Her Nose"
Lots42 "Bertha Plucks Her Pubes" (Chinese knockoff)
TMR "Bertha Pops A Zit"
Darren "Bertha Waxes Her Legs"
wabewalkr "Bertha Inserts a Suppository
Darren "Bertha Breaks Her Wind"
Darren "Bertha Experiments With Various Brands Of Breath Freshener"
wabewalkr If you broke wind after inserting a suppository... man, you could put someone's eye out that way.
TMR "Bertha Shaves Her Snatch"
wabewalkr "Bertha Flosses a Molar
Darren "Bertha Notices Early Signs of Fungal Infection"
TMR "Bertha Pierces Her Clitoris"
dpk "Bertha Discusses Freshness On The Beach With Her Mother"
Lots42 "Bertha Chats Online"
TMR "Bertha Buys an Eight-Ball of Cocaine"
wabewalkr "Bertha Installs a Water Filter
TMR "Bertha Breaks Into German ScheiƟ Porn"
*** Signoff: Darren (Ping timeout)
Darren2 "Bertha Drops Her Connection"
*** Darren2 is now known as Darren
Lots42 "Bertha Joins A Cult"
Darren "Bertha Decides It Is Not A 'Cult,' But Rather A Valid And Revolutionary Religious Movement Which Has Been Victimized By The Media And Deserves Extra Funding"
TMR "Bertha Washes Her Underwear"
wabewalkr "Bertha Covers Herself in Jam and Whistles for Her Golden Retriever
Darren "Bertha Mops Up The Blood"
Lots42 "Bertha Realizes Life Is A Worthless Shadow"
Darren "Bertha Achieves Female Ejaculation"
Darren "Bertha Discovers New Uses For Mayonnaise"
TMR "Bertha Moves Her Cheese"
Darren "Bertha Finds A Part Of Her Body To Pierce That Has Not So Far Been Scarified Or Adorned With Christmas Decorations"
Lots42 "Bertha Updates Her AOL Teletubbie Page"
Darren "Bertha Impersonates Characters From M*A*S*H"
wabewalkr "Bertha Buys Another 'Precious Moments' Figurine"
TMR "Bertha Smokes A Cigarette"
Darren "Bertha Orders A Pizza With Extra Pepperoni"
TMR "Bertha Blows The Delivery Boy"
Darren "Bertha Rubs Her Left Nipple With A Side Of Beef"
Darren "Bertha Becomes A Pyromaniac"
wabewalkr "Bertha Uses a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
Darren "Bertha Sneezes And Sucks"
Darren "Bertha Tries Alternative Medical Therapies"
KemloSilent s/uses/abuses
wabewalkr You're supposed to be silent!
Darren "Bertha Is Supposed To Be Silent"
wabewalkr "Bertha Silences Kemlo... Permanently
Darren "Bertha Silences Kemlo With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
Darren "Bertha Writes A Review For a Family Circus Book"
TMR "Bertha Takes A Nap"
Darren "Bertha Visits The Schumin Web"
wabewalkr "Bertha Does Bil Keane with a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
Darren "Bertha Takes A Nap With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
TMR "Bertha Bites A Testicle"
KemloSilent "Bertha Becomes a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
Darren "Bertha Grows A Testicle"
PyroP "Bertha Gets A Vasectomy"
wabewalkr "Bertha, in the Conservatory, with a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
Darren "Bertha Watches Rocky Horror With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
Darren "Bertha Becomes Responsible For Allocating Sleeping Quarters On Board A Ship, And Is Therefore Referred To By The Crew As 'Bertha The Berther.'"
Darren "Bertha Becomes Responsible For Allocating Sleeping Quarters On Board A Ship, And Is Therefore Referred To By The Crew As 'Bertha The Berther... With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage'"
PyroP "Bertha Goes On 'Win Ben Stein's Money'"
Darren "Bertha Wins Ben Stein's Summer Sausage"
wabewalkr "Bertha Becomes an Ob-Gyn: Bertha the Birther
KemloSilent "Bertha Impersonates D.W. Griffiths"
PyroP "Bertha Gets a Sex Change and a Skin Darkening: Bertha the Brotha"
TMR "Bertha Births"
Darren "Bertha Pops Balloons - Bertha The Burster"
TMR "Bertha Hijacks #spinnwebe"
Darren "Bertha Lubricates"
Darren "Bertha Sustains A 24-Hour Marathon"
Lots42 "Bertha Plays D&D And Goes Insane"
wabewalkr "Bertha Sustains A 24-Hour Manathon"
TMR "Bertha Files A Restraining Order Against The Makers of the Bertha Films"
PyroP "Bertha Reads a Jack Chick Comic"
Darren "Bertha Jacks After Reading A Chick Comic"
KemloSilent "Bertha Chicks After Reading A Jack Comic"
Darren "Bertha Shuttlecocks"
wabewalkr "Bertha Gets Cold: Brrrr, Bertha, Brrrr
Lots42 "Bertha Gains Ops"
Darren "Bertha Gains Weight"
Darren "Bertha Misses Her Period... And Begins To Suspect Pregnancy"
PyroP "Bertha Reaches Enlightenment"
Darren "Bertha Becomes A Klingon"
KemloSilent "Bertha Marries A Klingon"
Darren "Bertha Learns To Speak Klingon"
PyroP "Bertha Goes To a Star Trek Convention Dressed As a Klingon"
TMR "Bertha Boffs A Barnacle"
Darren "Bertha Becomes Elvis - Dressed As A Klingon"
Darren "Bertha Buffs Balls"
wabewalkr "Big Bertha Blasts Britain
Darren "Bertha Gives Bertha"
Lots42 "Bertha Hacks IMDB"
TMR "Bertha Barfs"
KemloSilent "Bertha Is John Malkovich"
PyroP "No Need For Bertha"
Darren "Bertha Fucks Off"
PyroP "La Blue Bertha"
Darren "La Bertha Andalou"
Lots42 "Bertha Dies An Agonizing Death"
Darren "Bertha Gets Into The #spinnwebe Logs Page Or This Has Been A Huge Waste Of Time"
*** Signoff: Darren2 (Ping timeout)
wabewalkr "Bertha Times Out
Darren "Bertha Is Now Known As Bertha2"
TMR "Bertha Blows A Beekeeper"
dpk "Bertha Remains Hot #spinnwebe Topic, Inexplicably (sp?)"
KemloSilent "It's A Dysfunctional Bertha"
Darren "Bertha Comes Out"
KemloSilent "Bertha Spells 'Inexplicably' Correctly"
Darren "Bertha Praises Nbsp"
Darren "Bertha Is Still On This"
KemloSilent "Bertha Is Still On This"
KemloSilent "Bertha Jinx"
Lots42 "Bertha Beats A Dying Horse"
Darren "Bertha Stinx"
wabewalkr "Bertha Begs for a Place in the Logs
Darren "Bertha Please Please Save This Raven"
TMR "Bertha Wonders How That Little Shit Dodged The K-Line And Why He's Still Here"
Darren "Bertha Buys A New IRC Server"
Darren "Bertha Marries Jeeb"
Darren "Bertha Gets A Photo On Shil's Page"
wabewalkr "Bertha Beats The Bear Test
Darren "Bertha Beats The Bear's Meat"
PyroP "Bertha Milks a Bull"
Darren "Bertha Plays The Sims"
Darren "Bertha Drinks Blood From A Stone"
Darren "Bertha Menstruates"
TMR "Bertha Stars In J's MPEG"
PyroP "Bertha Gets a .aero Domain"
Darren "Bertha Does The .biz"
*** Signoff: Lots42 ("Bertha Takes Out A 7-11")
Darren "Bertha Has Left IRC"
PyroP "Bertha Is Reset By Peer"
Darren "Bertha Pees On Peer"
Darren "Bertha Pees From Pier"
TMR "Bertha Robs A Liquor Store In Sandusky, Ohio"
Darren "Bertha Teaches Her Grandmother To Suck Eggs"
Darren "Bertha Teaches Her Grandmother To Suck Bertha"
KemloSilent "Bertha Commits Atrocity"
Darren "Bertha Commits Genocide"
wabewalkr "Bertha Bombs Beruit
Darren "Bertha Imposes No-Fly Zones"
PyroP "Bertha Invades Lichtenstein"
DMLaenker "Bertha Imposes Sanctions"
DMLaenker "Bertha Holds Peace Talks"
Darren "Bertha Puts Case For International Sanctions To UN"
Darren "Bertha Hold Peace Talks With Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage"
TMR "Bertha Runs a Distributed D.O.S. Attack Against 139.103.67.33"
PyroP "Bertha Runs A DDOS Attack Against 127.0.0.1
Darren "Bertha Pings"
PyroP "Bertha Pongs"
Darren "Bertha CTCP VERSION"
DMLaenker "Bertha Oversees Elections"
TMR "Bertha Hits The Bong"
Darren "Bertha Becomes President"
Darren "Bertha Joins The Borg"
PyroP "Bertha Purchases Second-Hand Sex Toys"
wabewalkr "Bertha Boffs Bush
TMR "Bertha Honks Out A Dirtsnake"
DMLaenker "Bertha Joins The Matrix"
Darren "Bertha Performs Colonic Irrigation With A Firecracker"
PyroP "Bertha Reads Ayn Rand"
Darren "Bertha! On Fire!"
DMLaenker "Bertha Has A Four-Month Ayn Rand Epiphany"
DMLaenker "Bertha Gets Over It"
TMR "Bertha Tries LSD"
Darren "Bertha Gets Onto It"
PyroP "Bertha Gets It On"
DMLaenker "Bertha Votes For Bush"
Darren "Bertha Gores For Votes"
TMR "Bertha Decides She Doesn't Give A Shit Which Clown Is In The White House"
DMLaenker "Bertha Hangs Her Chad Out To Wash"
KemloSilent "Bertha Votes Bozo"
DMLaenker "Bertha Votes Browne"
Darren "Bertha Becomes A Pregnant Chad"
DMLaenker "Bertha Votes Bull Moose"
DMLaenker "Bertha Gets Busted"
Darren "Bertha Busts Bush"
Darren "Bertha's Bushy Busts"
DMLaenker "Bertha Gets Busty With Shrub"
PyroP "Bertha Joins The Communist Party"
Darren "Bertha Communes During A Party"
DMLaenker "Bertha Wants To Kiss It"
Darren "Bertha Garts On Her Putter"
Darren "Bertha Loves It Hard"
KemloSilent "Bertha Parties at a Commune"
wabewalkr "Harry Potter and the Bertha of Doom
TMR "Bertha Drives A Volkswagon"
Darren "Bertha Moons At Compartments"
DMLaenker "Bertha Drives a Trabi"
Darren "Bertha Drives A Rabbi"
TMR "Bertha Fills My Buffer"
Darren "Bertha Buffs My Filler"
KemloSilent "Bertha Fluffs Bill"
Darren "Bertha Testifies"
DMLaenker "Bertha Directs Her DONG To Last Week's LeisureTown"
Darren "Bertha Didn't Know Leisure Town Had Been Updated Since QA Confidential"
PyroP "Bertha Reads Thin H Line"
TMR "Bertha Gives Herself A Breast Examination"
Darren "Bertha Inserts A Catheter"
Darren "Bertha Eggdrops"
Darren "Bertha Recognizes My Opposable Thumbs"
DMLaenker "Bertha Gets Some Implants"
DMLaenker "Bertha Rejects Her Own Implants"
KemloSilent "Bertha Gets Some Eggplants"
Darren "Bertha Implants Her Own Rejects"
TMR "Bertha Looks For Some Grub"
Darren "Bertha Must Be In The Guinness Fucking Book Of Fucking Records By Now"
wabewalkr "Bertha Breaks the Record for Fucking
Darren "Bertha Breaks A Record During Fucking - That's An Old Vinyl Record By The Way"
Darren "Bertha Breaks Her Waters During Fucking"
KemloSilent "Bertha Fucks The Guinness Book Of Records"
Darren "Bertha Fucks In The Guinness World Of Records"
dpk "Bertha Reboots Server"
Darren "Bertha Reserves Booty"
Darren "Bertha Remains Celibate For Five Minutes"
wabewalkr I think "Bertha! ON FIRE!" should have ended it, myself.