| Lots42 | There was one movie called, I think, 'Bertha Puts On Her Garters' |
|---|---|
| wabewalkr | Name a slightly suggestive title and it's probably been made into a porn. |
| TMR | Buggering Miss Daisy |
| Darren | Pantspotting |
| Lots42 | No, 'Bertha' was from 1917 |
| wabewalkr | Heh. Sounds like a Brunching game: "Can you find the fake porn titles?" |
| Darren | The sequel was "Bertha Puts On Her Shoes" |
| Darren | then "Bertha Puts On Her Wig" |
| Darren | eventually, in 1973, they produced "Bertha Shits On The Floor" |
| TMR | The prequel was "Bertha Shaves Her Pits" |
| Darren | "Bertha Plucks Her Eyebrows" |
| Darren | "Bertha Picks Her Nose" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Plucks Her Pubes" (Chinese knockoff) |
| TMR | "Bertha Pops A Zit" |
| Darren | "Bertha Waxes Her Legs" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Inserts a Suppository |
| Darren | "Bertha Breaks Her Wind" |
| Darren | "Bertha Experiments With Various Brands Of Breath Freshener" |
| wabewalkr | If you broke wind after inserting a suppository... man, you could put someone's eye out that way. |
| TMR | "Bertha Shaves Her Snatch" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Flosses a Molar |
| Darren | "Bertha Notices Early Signs of Fungal Infection" |
| TMR | "Bertha Pierces Her Clitoris" |
| dpk | "Bertha Discusses Freshness On The Beach With Her Mother" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Chats Online" |
| TMR | "Bertha Buys an Eight-Ball of Cocaine" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Installs a Water Filter |
| TMR | "Bertha Breaks Into German Scheiß Porn" |
| *** Signoff: Darren (Ping timeout) | |
| Darren2 | "Bertha Drops Her Connection" |
| *** Darren2 is now known as Darren | |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Joins A Cult" |
| Darren | "Bertha Decides It Is Not A 'Cult,' But Rather A Valid And Revolutionary Religious Movement Which Has Been Victimized By The Media And Deserves Extra Funding" |
| TMR | "Bertha Washes Her Underwear" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Covers Herself in Jam and Whistles for Her Golden Retriever |
| Darren | "Bertha Mops Up The Blood" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Realizes Life Is A Worthless Shadow" |
| Darren | "Bertha Achieves Female Ejaculation" |
| Darren | "Bertha Discovers New Uses For Mayonnaise" |
| TMR | "Bertha Moves Her Cheese" |
| Darren | "Bertha Finds A Part Of Her Body To Pierce That Has Not So Far Been Scarified Or Adorned With Christmas Decorations" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Updates Her AOL Teletubbie Page" |
| Darren | "Bertha Impersonates Characters From M*A*S*H" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Buys Another 'Precious Moments' Figurine" |
| TMR | "Bertha Smokes A Cigarette" |
| Darren | "Bertha Orders A Pizza With Extra Pepperoni" |
| TMR | "Bertha Blows The Delivery Boy" |
| Darren | "Bertha Rubs Her Left Nipple With A Side Of Beef" |
| Darren | "Bertha Becomes A Pyromaniac" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Uses a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| Darren | "Bertha Sneezes And Sucks" |
| Darren | "Bertha Tries Alternative Medical Therapies" |
| KemloSilent | s/uses/abuses |
| wabewalkr | You're supposed to be silent! |
| Darren | "Bertha Is Supposed To Be Silent" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Silences Kemlo... Permanently |
| Darren | "Bertha Silences Kemlo With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| Darren | "Bertha Writes A Review For a Family Circus Book" |
| TMR | "Bertha Takes A Nap" |
| Darren | "Bertha Visits The Schumin Web" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Does Bil Keane with a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| Darren | "Bertha Takes A Nap With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| TMR | "Bertha Bites A Testicle" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Becomes a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| Darren | "Bertha Grows A Testicle" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Gets A Vasectomy" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha, in the Conservatory, with a Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| Darren | "Bertha Watches Rocky Horror With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| Darren | "Bertha Becomes Responsible For Allocating Sleeping Quarters On Board A Ship, And Is Therefore Referred To By The Crew As 'Bertha The Berther.'" |
| Darren | "Bertha Becomes Responsible For Allocating Sleeping Quarters On Board A Ship, And Is Therefore Referred To By The Crew As 'Bertha The Berther... With A Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage'" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Goes On 'Win Ben Stein's Money'" |
| Darren | "Bertha Wins Ben Stein's Summer Sausage" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Becomes an Ob-Gyn: Bertha the Birther |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Impersonates D.W. Griffiths" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Gets a Sex Change and a Skin Darkening: Bertha the Brotha" |
| TMR | "Bertha Births" |
| Darren | "Bertha Pops Balloons - Bertha The Burster" |
| TMR | "Bertha Hijacks #spinnwebe" |
| Darren | "Bertha Lubricates" |
| Darren | "Bertha Sustains A 24-Hour Marathon" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Plays D&D And Goes Insane" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Sustains A 24-Hour Manathon" |
| TMR | "Bertha Files A Restraining Order Against The Makers of the Bertha Films" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Reads a Jack Chick Comic" |
| Darren | "Bertha Jacks After Reading A Chick Comic" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Chicks After Reading A Jack Comic" |
| Darren | "Bertha Shuttlecocks" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Gets Cold: Brrrr, Bertha, Brrrr |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Gains Ops" |
| Darren | "Bertha Gains Weight" |
| Darren | "Bertha Misses Her Period... And Begins To Suspect Pregnancy" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Reaches Enlightenment" |
| Darren | "Bertha Becomes A Klingon" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Marries A Klingon" |
| Darren | "Bertha Learns To Speak Klingon" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Goes To a Star Trek Convention Dressed As a Klingon" |
| TMR | "Bertha Boffs A Barnacle" |
| Darren | "Bertha Becomes Elvis - Dressed As A Klingon" |
| Darren | "Bertha Buffs Balls" |
| wabewalkr | "Big Bertha Blasts Britain |
| Darren | "Bertha Gives Bertha" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Hacks IMDB" |
| TMR | "Bertha Barfs" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Is John Malkovich" |
| PyroP | "No Need For Bertha" |
| Darren | "Bertha Fucks Off" |
| PyroP | "La Blue Bertha" |
| Darren | "La Bertha Andalou" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Dies An Agonizing Death" |
| Darren | "Bertha Gets Into The #spinnwebe Logs Page Or This Has Been A Huge Waste Of Time" |
| *** Signoff: Darren2 (Ping timeout) | |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Times Out |
| Darren | "Bertha Is Now Known As Bertha2" |
| TMR | "Bertha Blows A Beekeeper" |
| dpk | "Bertha Remains Hot #spinnwebe Topic, Inexplicably (sp?)" |
| KemloSilent | "It's A Dysfunctional Bertha" |
| Darren | "Bertha Comes Out" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Spells 'Inexplicably' Correctly" |
| Darren | "Bertha Praises Nbsp" |
| Darren | "Bertha Is Still On This" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Is Still On This" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Jinx" |
| Lots42 | "Bertha Beats A Dying Horse" |
| Darren | "Bertha Stinx" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Begs for a Place in the Logs |
| Darren | "Bertha Please Please Save This Raven" |
| TMR | "Bertha Wonders How That Little Shit Dodged The K-Line And Why He's Still Here" |
| Darren | "Bertha Buys A New IRC Server" |
| Darren | "Bertha Marries Jeeb" |
| Darren | "Bertha Gets A Photo On Shil's Page" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Beats The Bear Test |
| Darren | "Bertha Beats The Bear's Meat" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Milks a Bull" |
| Darren | "Bertha Plays The Sims" |
| Darren | "Bertha Drinks Blood From A Stone" |
| Darren | "Bertha Menstruates" |
| TMR | "Bertha Stars In J's MPEG" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Gets a .aero Domain" |
| Darren | "Bertha Does The .biz" |
| *** Signoff: Lots42 ("Bertha Takes Out A 7-11") | |
| Darren | "Bertha Has Left IRC" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Is Reset By Peer" |
| Darren | "Bertha Pees On Peer" |
| Darren | "Bertha Pees From Pier" |
| TMR | "Bertha Robs A Liquor Store In Sandusky, Ohio" |
| Darren | "Bertha Teaches Her Grandmother To Suck Eggs" |
| Darren | "Bertha Teaches Her Grandmother To Suck Bertha" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Commits Atrocity" |
| Darren | "Bertha Commits Genocide" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Bombs Beruit |
| Darren | "Bertha Imposes No-Fly Zones" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Invades Lichtenstein" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Imposes Sanctions" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Holds Peace Talks" |
| Darren | "Bertha Puts Case For International Sanctions To UN" |
| Darren | "Bertha Hold Peace Talks With Hickory Farms(tm) Summer Sausage" |
| TMR | "Bertha Runs a Distributed D.O.S. Attack Against 139.103.67.33" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Runs A DDOS Attack Against 127.0.0.1 |
| Darren | "Bertha Pings" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Pongs" |
| Darren | "Bertha CTCP VERSION" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Oversees Elections" |
| TMR | "Bertha Hits The Bong" |
| Darren | "Bertha Becomes President" |
| Darren | "Bertha Joins The Borg" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Purchases Second-Hand Sex Toys" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Boffs Bush |
| TMR | "Bertha Honks Out A Dirtsnake" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Joins The Matrix" |
| Darren | "Bertha Performs Colonic Irrigation With A Firecracker" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Reads Ayn Rand" |
| Darren | "Bertha! On Fire!" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Has A Four-Month Ayn Rand Epiphany" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Gets Over It" |
| TMR | "Bertha Tries LSD" |
| Darren | "Bertha Gets Onto It" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Gets It On" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Votes For Bush" |
| Darren | "Bertha Gores For Votes" |
| TMR | "Bertha Decides She Doesn't Give A Shit Which Clown Is In The White House" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Hangs Her Chad Out To Wash" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Votes Bozo" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Votes Browne" |
| Darren | "Bertha Becomes A Pregnant Chad" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Votes Bull Moose" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Gets Busted" |
| Darren | "Bertha Busts Bush" |
| Darren | "Bertha's Bushy Busts" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Gets Busty With Shrub" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Joins The Communist Party" |
| Darren | "Bertha Communes During A Party" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Wants To Kiss It" |
| Darren | "Bertha Garts On Her Putter" |
| Darren | "Bertha Loves It Hard" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Parties at a Commune" |
| wabewalkr | "Harry Potter and the Bertha of Doom |
| TMR | "Bertha Drives A Volkswagon" |
| Darren | "Bertha Moons At Compartments" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Drives a Trabi" |
| Darren | "Bertha Drives A Rabbi" |
| TMR | "Bertha Fills My Buffer" |
| Darren | "Bertha Buffs My Filler" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Fluffs Bill" |
| Darren | "Bertha Testifies" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Directs Her DONG To Last Week's LeisureTown" |
| Darren | "Bertha Didn't Know Leisure Town Had Been Updated Since QA Confidential" |
| PyroP | "Bertha Reads Thin H Line" |
| TMR | "Bertha Gives Herself A Breast Examination" |
| Darren | "Bertha Inserts A Catheter" |
| Darren | "Bertha Eggdrops" |
| Darren | "Bertha Recognizes My Opposable Thumbs" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Gets Some Implants" |
| DMLaenker | "Bertha Rejects Her Own Implants" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Gets Some Eggplants" |
| Darren | "Bertha Implants Her Own Rejects" |
| TMR | "Bertha Looks For Some Grub" |
| Darren | "Bertha Must Be In The Guinness Fucking Book Of Fucking Records By Now" |
| wabewalkr | "Bertha Breaks the Record for Fucking |
| Darren | "Bertha Breaks A Record During Fucking - That's An Old Vinyl Record By The Way" |
| Darren | "Bertha Breaks Her Waters During Fucking" |
| KemloSilent | "Bertha Fucks The Guinness Book Of Records" |
| Darren | "Bertha Fucks In The Guinness World Of Records" |
| dpk | "Bertha Reboots Server" |
| Darren | "Bertha Reserves Booty" |
| Darren | "Bertha Remains Celibate For Five Minutes" |
| wabewalkr | I think "Bertha! ON FIRE!" should have ended it, myself. |