Pillsbury Dough Boy Wanted for Attempted Murder

(an urban legend)

A woman visiting her in-laws last week stopped by a supermarket to buy some flowers. She parked next to a car in which a woman was sitting with her eyes closed and hands clasped behind her head, apparently sleeping. When the visiting woman returned to her vehicle, she again noticed the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open.

The woman looked very distraught, so the visiting woman tapped on the window and yelled “Are you okay?”

The woman in the car answered “I’ve been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in.”

The visitor ran back to the store where store employees called paramedics. They had to break into the car because the door was locked.

Upon entering, they found that the woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion, and had hit the woman in the head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was brain matter. She passed out from fright and then attempted to hold her “brain” together when she came to.