Paradigm and Disruption:¹
The Use of Shock and Awe in
“Itty Bitty Titty Waitresses”

A Postmodern Analysis of a Porn Title

In the œuvre of porn titles, we often find the use of rhyme as it brings to mind the rhythms associated with sexual intercourse. In “Itty Bitty Titty Waitresses” we are confronted with a new “twist” on this common motif.

Here, the stereotypical title begins as the reader expects. “Itty,” suggesting small, normally clashes with the impulsion for ever larger genitalia and erogenous zones; however, the appeal to passive men cannot be overlooked. While some² may argue that this panders to proto-pædophiles, it should be viewed as a healthy counteraction to the domination of the overly-endowed in the industry.

“Bitty” reaffirms and reiterates the commitment to a reduction of size. Again, one could argue the danger of using a common baby-talk phrase, but here it shows a humorous and light-hearted approach to the complex subject matter of the film. The challenge to the auteur is to maintain the delicate balance between whimsy and gravity. He does not want the connoisseur to dismiss the work as irrelevant, yet he certainly does not want to appear too academic!

“Titty” is the proof of the pudding, as it were. The subject matter, laid bare, is brought in gently by rhyme, so as not to disturb the digestion of the connoisseur. We are now complete: the emphasis on a strict limitation of size coupled with the subject of the work. At this point, the auteur could stop, confident that his muse has provided the connoisseur with a formidable yet accurate précis in which to aid his selection.

Yet all of this is but pure predeconstructionism, for “Waitresses” completely disrupts the flow. The mind, conditioned by the preceding words, expects “kitty” or “pretty” or even “shitty.” This psychological coitus interruptus disturbs the porn connoisseur’s rapid parsing of titles on the rack. The connoisseur has passed the Rubicon, and is unable to take solace in the title’s prefix.

It is an epiphany for the connoisseur. No longer is he constrained by the mere power of assonance, rhyme and homophony, but now has an entire new genre to explore and experience. But this liberation comes with a price: paradoxically, this revelation disempowers the connoisseur, forcing him to investigate the nexus of the disruption, namely “Itty Bitty Titty Waitresses.” The auteur has laid the snare, and the connoisseur has willingly fallen into it.

Such is the power of this new paradigm, the disruptive porn title. This work will be viewed as a watershed in modern literature: not for its approach to a hackneyed theme, but rather its simultaneous appreciation and derision of its audience. Expect to see more of this paradigm in the future, yet none will ever be as powerful or as chilling as “Itty Bitty Titty Waitresses.”

¹The author would like to thank Mia Descandion for the inspiration of this work.

²C. Priest and R. Polanski. When Is Too Little Too Much? J. of Applied Pæderasty 112, March 1997.