Care and Maintenance of your Smogmobile 2000™

Chapter 37: Replacing Your Window Crank

  1. Before starting any major repair, make sure you have the right parts. Often, an identical part may look like its mirror image. In this case, a window crank may fold and appear to no longer fit.

  2. First, remove the door panel, making sure you fold, spindle and mutilate the inner lining so that it will no longer fit when you’re done.

  3. You probably manhandled the door panel so much it doesn’t matter what you do with it, so toss it into the bushes.

  4. Here, Cousin It shows us the proper way to store the window in your workshop.

  5. The ASE suggests having a large supply of potato ravioli on hand when undertaking such a complex repair.

  6. First, place the new crank in the door.

  7. Secure it in place by hand-tightening the bolts. Watch those fingers!

  8. Once the crank is in place and appears to function, go ahead and secure it with a screwdriver or socket wrench. Ask a friend to help. Many hands make light work.

  9. Always have technical assistance nearby should something go wrong.

  10. It is best to leave the most dangerous step—installing the glass—to an expert.

  11. Secure the glass to the crank first by hand, then with the socket wrench.

  12. All that’s left now is proper disposal of the waste. Let’s all pitch in and make the world a cleaner place!

  13. Kiss that old creaky crank goodbye! Your new creaky crank should last about a week.


    Worshipers of the vile god Jūn-Kyarr’d often display a tattoo of Cthulhu on the back of their hand.