House with two dozen flags in front

Losing Their Touch?
Fewer flags than last time, but still frightening

Flagged for Terror

Even with a New Identity, Local Man Still Plagued by Vandals

A SM2000 Special Report

HUNTINGTON BEACH—Three years and two homes later, Daniel Spisak thought he was safe from the monstrous terror that ensnared his life every June 14th.

He was wrong.

Late June 14th, this reporter awoke to a mysterious phone call at half-past midnight.

Silhouette of man on street

A mysterious midnight phone call lead our reporter to a strange rendezvous

“Grab your camera and be ready in five minutes.”

An hour later, nobody had shown up. This reporter was about to climb back into bed when a car pulled up in front of him.

“Get in. Don’t ask questions. You’re here to take photos, and that’s all.”

The destination: a small nondescript house in a tract outside of Huntington Beach, California; a stone’s throw away from an elementary school and a shopping mall. A quiet house indistinct from the others in this peaceful bedroom community.

Except this house was decorated in flags.

“Spisak?” this reporter wondered aloud.

The mysterious source just nodded.

Despite a plethora of evidence, the FBI remains baffled. John Grant, who has devoted his spare time to solving the Spisak case, blames a lack of coordination between the branches of law enforcement.

Vacuum truck with bumper sticker

A suck truck with an unusual KROQ bumper-sticker was seen near the incident

“Local police discovered the suck truck connection, but failed to notify the FBI,” he bemoans. “By the time we learned about it, that trail was cold.”

Grant is referring to the truck that had been seen cleaning Spisak’s street only hours before the incident.

“The truck was sporting a bumper sticker for the alternative rock station KROQ. This is unusual because one normally wouldn’t expect to find a KROQ listener in such a menial job. Police saw the truck and noted it in their logbook, but failed to relay that information to us in time.”

Does the FBI believe that the flags were transported to the site in the truck?

“Speculation at this point would be counter-productive,” Grant said curtly, ending the interview.

Grant is obviously skirting around some of the major issues involved in this case.

[Paper fragment]

One major clue is the piece of scrap paper found near Spisak's home on which the word “FLAG” appeared a number of times, along with disturbing phrases such as “Does he live there?” and “A school should not be near a shopping mall.”

The author of this document is unknown, but the source is not: a group of investigators within the FBI are disgruntled by the blasé attitude of the bureau to this case and have been taking matters into their own hands.

“They keep treating this like a prank,” one anonymous contact complained. “A man’s life is being systematically destroyed here, and they keep muttering about resource and budget limitations.”

The question remains: How did the perpetrators find Spisak in the first place?

[Parking plaque]

After the last incident, Spisak has been on the run, changing careers and homes as one would change clothes, living a lifestyle reminiscent of Dr. Richard Kimble in The Fugitive. His latest identity was that of a pastor for the Huntington Beach chapter of the Universal Life Church.

“It could have been dumb luck,” commented one anonymous investigator. “The possibility is strong that they simply stumbled on his new identity. Three things were in their favor: first, the ULC is a pretty shady organization, so these people probably cross circles more often than Spisak would like; second, moving to a nearby town to where the original incident took place was not advisable; and third, the pseudonym ‘Dan Spidak’ is just dumb.”

The most disturbing feature of this latest crime is the appearance of so-called ‘copycat’ criminals.

Photo of another flagged house

More disturbing to police is the arrival of “copycat” vandals targeting other families

Earlier this week, this reporter received a set of photographs in the mail: no return address, nor was the subject of the photo easily identifiable. But the action taken was unmistakable.

Another house had been flagged.

Was it the same group responsible for the Spisak flagging? Police aren’t sure. “While the style is similar, the target and the motive are completely unknown. Who lives here? Why were they flagged? The Spisak flaggers made it clear that Daniel Spisak was the target, and he was to pay for whatever past grievance he had caused.”

“Flagging is a major problem for the police,” said Tina Blume, author of the upcoming book The Phallus and the Flagpole which deals with the emergence of flagging in modern society. “Many men fear that getting flagged is a blow against their masculinity and quickly hide the evidence, while the women are indifferent and treat it as an everyday nuisance. They don’t realize that by ignoring the problem they are in fact contributing to its spread.”

We can only wait and hope, hope that come June 14th next year we will be lucky to see a Flag Day without any flags.

Editor’s note: Two hours before we were to go to press, we received the following anonymous message: “We didn’t do it, but we applaud those that did.”

(Original Story)