The Roadtrip Report: Year 5

Well, we made it. The Smogmobile 2000™ survived to the year 2000.


Serious construction is afoot. We may be moving the research labs to more pleasant climes. Blasted federal investigators can be such a nuisance…

28 February 2000

The Smogmobile is beginning to leave the world of the amusing to enter the world of the annoying and dangerous. Its latest quirk: to have the headlights not come on at all unless the driver keeps his thumb on the switch while driving.

25 March 2000

A quick trip to Krispy Kreme doughnuts, then to the hospital for our quintuple bypasses. Good doughnuts, but perhaps showing exactly how they are made is not the best idea in health-conscious California…

14 May 2000

We are pleased to announce the reopening of Hill Street in Long Beach, and more additions to our gallery of the Southern California experience.

Summer 2000 Activity

(Or lack thereof)

Just in case you’re wondering: the reason we had a dearth of updates this year is that Rob is in graduate school and had a major project to complete over the summer. He did manage to snag this cute stuffed ’dillo during his time in Austin, Texas. He did not take his camera, though.

4 July 2000

Those of you “in the know” — or those at least paying attention — may notice that the entry for 25 March has been modified. The report that Paul had replaced the Smogmobile 2000™ with something that runs turned out to be a hoax.

But there are more additions to the gallery to make up for some of the disappointment.

7 July 2000

If you have a young child, you know where we were this night…

18 August 2000

Tonight’s Episode: A Date with… Danger!

We really should be more socially conscious. Or just plain old conscious. In either case, here are four tips for safer living:

  1. Do not randomly photograph street signs at 12:30 AM, no matter how bored you are. Someone may accidentally drive into the field of fire.
  2. If you do photograph someone accidentally, do not start laughing uncontrollably.
  3. If you do laugh uncontrollably, convincing the psycho in the car you accidentally photographed that you’re laughing at him, leave the area immediately.
  4. If the psycho follows you after you’ve fled, do not pull over to the side of the road to ask him what is wrong.
The innocuous original photo
(and the C J Parsons’ digital enhancement)

3 September 2000

Attention! If you are an overzealous parent, deranged fundamentalist, or a member of any other hypersensitive organization, do not follow the link below:


We actually saw this “go down,” as it were. The first time we saw it it read “Fat Chicks Eat,” so of course we raced back to get the camera. When we returned, we saw a group of juvenile delinquents fleeing the scene. Bless their evil little hearts. Pity they didn’t have a second “K,” though.

23 October 2000

We’re on the cusp of the third millennium, and the Smogmobile 2000™ is on its last legs. This night we heard a horrid grinding nose from the engine (You may ask, how could we tell? We just could.) which prompted Jason to raise the ugly issue of a water pump failure, something with which Rob is all too familiar. The Smogmobile 2000™ survived, but we’re all waiting with bated breath until midnight, 31 December 2000…

On a lighter note, we’ve made the front page of Not My Desk, an online humor column about temping. Which is curious because we have very little to do with temping.

31 December 2000

Not much happened over the holidays; Rob had a major project to complete so we didn’t get to go anyplace special. In fact, all we did see was this sign outside a bottling plant. If you look closely, you can see Santa and Mrs. Claus on top of the can.

And just a quick explanation for the lack of updates…

Around mid-December, I dropped my laptop. On the hard floor. That’s all she wrote for it… a total loss. Both the logic and power boards were cracked which would cost me about $700 to replace, almost as much as I paid for the 5-year-old machine originally. Since the hard drive was OK, I decided to scrap the machine and just save the drive.

So, fast-forward four months (yes, this update is seriously delayed). I get a new laptop (my new Titanium G4, and I do mean my) and find to my dismay that the old hard drive cannot go in it.

All of the Roadtrip Reports from late October to mid-December are stuck in that drive. So, when I figure out how to get files off that drive, this note will be replaced by something (marginally) interesting. As for after the New Year…