Take the Bear Test

Welcome to the Interactive Bear Test. Prepare to have your head shrunken.

General Instructions

Below you will find a series of surreal situations in which you have been placed. Answer the questions as honestly as possible. Do not try to second-guess the questions; they do have subtext, but you will be unable to determine what it is and it will make the analysis less fun. If you make a mistake, simply hit the “BACK” button on your browser. Tests are not saved until the very end.

The test consists of six short answer questions and a number of multiple choice questions. Expect to spend about 30 minutes finishing the test. If you wish to stop the test before you have completed it, simply save the current page to your local disk. No cookies or session info is stored remotely so you can restart at any time from a saved page.

How To Answer Questions

Here is an example question:

In the middle of the cave is an ivory pedestal, upon which is a shining jewel. Describe the jewel. What color is it? Is it fine or rough?

A good answer would be:

The jewel is very clear and multifaceted, with just a hint of a blue tinge. Light from the entrance of the cave strikes the jewel and sends up a marvelous pattern on the ceiling. I think it might be a diamond.

Here are some simple guidelines for answers that will return the best results:


Now, pull up a couch and let’s begin!

You awake one morning and find yourself in an odd yet familiar room. Describe the room. Is it warm or cold? What kind of furnishings and decorations are there?